can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
