like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
