I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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