I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
