JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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