I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
