Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
