My friends, they love my intelligence
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
