dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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