hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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