There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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