Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
