I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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