You can't motorboat a personality
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
