did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
i think my cat just said my name.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
