I want to make a zoo with you.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
