JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
