I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
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