Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize