i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
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On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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