I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
