I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
