when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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