last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
