he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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