i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
