And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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