she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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