Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
