He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
