finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
it glows. i had to have it.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
