Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
