This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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