Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize