Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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