Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize