Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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