party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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