Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
