Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
