I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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