I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
