Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
