Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
