Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
