Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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