I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
