If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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