Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
