Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
