Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
