I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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