38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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