I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
