Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Acid is not a monday night drug
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
