So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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