I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
