why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Success! We fucked roommates!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
