It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
it's great music for shaving your balls
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
