I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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