my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
