Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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