so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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