Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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