I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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