My sheets look like a crime scene.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
