Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize