If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
